Power

Power can be a wonderful thing when the right people are in power; But when egotistical, retarded, unskillful people are placed in charge of people who score way above average in the real world it makes for an interesting and stressful work environment. This is exactly the kind of crap I have to deal with everyday at my job. I am supervised by and un experienced prick who takes her job of running useless errands, ordering soda's, and crying in her office (the most consistent part of her job) seriously. She has no real grasp on what it takes to be a supervisor, or run any part of an office efficiently. Her inability to perform tasks with any cooth, class, or in a right or timely manner, is truly repulsive and unsettling. I am truly disgusted of people who think they are more than what they are and don't even have the mental capacity to even begin to pretend to back it up. So I sit here and ponder what beseeches her to act this way. Is it cause, I'm prettier, smarter, skinnier, have better hair, more money, better common sense. I think so or simply put, I have an audaciously high SWAG content!!!! and in case she ever See's this Audacious in this context, means an absurdly absorbent amount. Oh hell I don't know small words, she'll just have to GOOGLE it...

Things That Bug Me.

1. Why do people on Facebook constantly send me party fliers and I never go, as a mater of fact I RSVP no.

2. Why doesn't anyone remember Muzzy or the Book Where the wild things are? (Classics)

3.Why do most men not eat candy? What is un-manly about candy?

4. Why do some individuals at my job think they're smarter than me because I'm younger? My mental capacity has nothing to do with my age.... I'm an F-ing Genius...I know it hurts.

5. Why can't I Wear white after Labor Day. Are you going to buy me new clothes (Darker Clothes)

6. Why is Discount Tires only open until 6 pm? That is extremely annoying, I need you at least until 9.

7. Why won't they build me a 24 hour mall?

8. Why doesn't TJ Maxx have an online website that lets you order clothes, not just say "Visit here for a Store Locator" WTF"?

9. Why isn't the Chicka-Fil- A open on Sundays? (Bless his holy name)

10. And the most Important!! Why are there so may LOSERS in the world...Why Lord Why?

The Half Sandwhich

Well, in all my PERFECTION, I've decided to start a book review (Yay me) but I realized that I only read half of every book I've started reading this year. So in all my EXCELLENCE, I've started a half book review which we will now name THE HALF SANDWICH( Music is playing). First Book:

I Hope they Serve Beer In Hell By : Tucker Max

Now at first glance I found this book extremely funny. I thought him having sex with random women, getting pissy drunk, and him busing the word "Fuck" every other sentence would be amusing, and it was for the first 30 pages. But then it's like this A-hole did nothing else. I wonder is he dying of liver failure as we speak? Some of theses stories are outrageous. I mean maybe if I was from some hick town I would find going to BARS EVERY NIGHT and getting sloshed, amusing, but I'm super cool and awesome, so I have a real life. But I will not say the book isn't entertaining, just a little hard to believe. The best part of the book is when they drink, and then have sex, and pass, out...oh wait that's the whole half book.(does that sound right?) anyways there's nothing more to say. I give it 3 thumbs out of 5.

Manic Monday

K: what did he say about your music proposal stuff?

S: He said that there was some stuff he wasn’t too sure about on the copywriting side...blah blah blah blah

K: can i be in your music video?

S: Only if you agree to be a drunken white girl.

K: hmmm that would be a difficult role for me personally to pull off. but lucky for you my acting skills are wide ranged and i believe in the end i could conquer my fear of alcohol poisoning and work it out.

do you think if Laura rueda died Jeff seely would want me to be his secretary?

S: I knew you could do it. You will probably get an Oscar for your role. Yes if you ask him. Or bate him with the fact that he’s taller than you and can feel like a real man with you as his secretary.

K: bahaha the last part is sooo true :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QwM4vXex7c

You need to watch this, it is like someone snuck into me and SheKIKI's head on the Magic School Bus and made a music video of what they saw featuring TPain. There is no other way to describe it any better, the only thing I would have added would be a ninja somewhere in there bc everyone knows we have major skills in this department.

PS- so does anyone have any connects to Chelsea yet?

Michael Vick

I am going to make several very IMPORTANTE (Spanish for important) statements about this Michael Vick situation.



1. This is Bullshit. (point blank)
Don't get me wrong "dog fighting" is wrong, but giving somebody a year for fighting PIT BULLS is the most ridiculous load of shit, I've ever heard. How dare you give Michael Vick's sexy self a year in jail, but a sex offender can gt six months in jail on there second offense, get released from jail and still get to live with children. Our worlds judicial system is severely warped. I am infuriated. To make matters worse, he has to take a construction job. What the fuck!!!!!!!! Why do you have to degrade a person? Is all this necessary, weren't the cheering fans way more important than sending him to jail?!!! I THINK SO... I am just at a lost for words (well not really).

Ode to Chelsea

We LOVE Chelsea Handler. In fact we hope our blog somehow reaches her Snow White ears... Here is a rough draft letter that we're going to send to Chelsea in hopes of her love. Enjoy:


Dear Chelsea,

Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria; Sorry I suffer from a disease called randomness. My best friend Ebony and I love you and would like to be guests on your show. If not we can phone in. We just want to somehow be in your presence. We like Midgets and have Pikachu's. We think this is the start of a beautiful friendship

Yours Truly,
Ebony and Ivory.

Why America is Running Out of Money...

Because people in Hollywood (no offense Chris) are spending millions of dollars to make stupid, pointless movies that leave the viewers dumbfounded. Like on South Park, when one of the kids goes to see a movie and it sucks, he takes a bus to CA knocks on Mel Gibson's door, punches him in the face and gets his money back that he spent on the movie ticket. Thats what I want to do. People are just making movies to make movies, they are barely putting any skills or effort into it, take Vin Diesel in Fast and the Furiuos for example...he put absolutly no thought into what he was saying. I could have played a better macho guy who wants revenge. Everything he said was just one-liners with the exact same expression on his face for a hour and a half. Maybe if people quit wasting their time making movies like this our economy would be just a little bit better off and frankly so would I. Just a thought.

The fake important thing i wanted to tell you, last night i ordered fried pickles at Alamo Draft House and they burnt the roof of my mouth those little fockers.

ps- sometimes cucumbers taste better pickled (quote of the day)

Good Friday

YES!!! I'm off work (Boo's from crowd) "Wait isn't everyone off for Good Friday"? No!! Everyone is not off for Good Friday. Why? Why is this? I know not everyone is a Christian, but I believe in celebrating any holiday that allows me to miss work "All expenses paid". I am very saddened by certain business' choices to skip Good Friday as a holiday. I feel this is directly related to the "Recession". Instead of buying a never ending supply of Red Bull. Why not give much deserved employee's a little Paid Vaca... I mean seriously you hoard enough money from us hard working individuals the least yo could do is let us sleep in on a Glorious Friday. Why is is Easter is a Recognized Holiday, but not Good Friday... This cuts me real deep Shrek, real deep.

Taylor Swift

Let me explain to you what kind of emotions Taylor swift bestows upon me..... she makes me feel like I am getting 1000000 paper cuts in my eyeballs, while being slowly whipped and roasted over a fire in which everyone around me is making smores that smell chocolaty delicious but I cant have because I am in the process of being tortured. I would rather listen to paint dry then to her winey voice. Don’t get me started today .... "beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice"